Love and Grit: Balancing Self-Compassion and Strong Determination (CL1D26)
Cara Lai, MA and Matthew Brensilver, PhD
September 6, 2026
Please only register for one of the two formats: On-Land or Online.
Registration closes at 9:00am (Pacific Time) on September 6, 2026. A waiting list will be created if the program fills early. A recording* will be available following the program.
Description:
On the Dharma path, no single teaching is sufficient to guide us. Awakening comes from holding the dynamic tension between two equally important, apparently contradictory teachings.
Is it possible to have great self-compassion without losing our strong determination? The Buddha relentlessly highlights the importance of persistence and resolution on the Dharma path. Progress comes through perseverance. Simultaneously, we know that this path simply cannot be walked without great love and self-compassion. Some tangles cannot be untangled through striving—they require gentleness, love, and forgiveness. How do these two forces fit together?
During this daylong, we’ll explore the two sides of this dialectic and illuminate a path that fully honors both. The day will include guided and silent sitting meditation, walking meditation, Dharma talks, and conversation between Cara and Matthew. We’ll have time for dialogue and questions as we trace out a path of effort and care.
Sliding Scale: Our sliding scale options for this program include financial support for our teachers. Please consider paying at the highest rate that you can afford: your generosity supports teachers as well as Spirit Rock and your fellow practitioners who need to pay less.
On-Land Sliding Scale: (CL1D26)**
Benefactor – $310
Sustainer – $235
Basic – $140
Scholarship Rate (BIPOC, Mudita/Karuna) – $70
**Volunteer/Work Exchange opportunities, which include full or partial Scholarships, may be available for the in-person program. For more information, please contact the Volunteer Coordinator at volunteering@spiritrock.org.
Online Sliding Scale: (CL1Z26)***
Benefactor – $175
Sustainer – $95
Basic – $75
Scholarship Rate (BIPOC, Mudita/Karuna) – $45
***Online Program: All are welcome! No one will be turned away for lack of funds as space allows. For more information, please email Registration@spiritrock.org no later than 12:00pm (NOON) PT on the day prior to the program date.
*Important Notes:
Access to Recording
- Registration includes unlimited access to this program’s recording. You must register by the deadline above. The recording will be available in ~10 days after the program.
On-Land Attendees
- The on-land program will take place in the Community Meditation Center (CMC) in the Great Hall.
- Bring a lunch and a water bottle. Lunch is not provided.
- This is NOT a residential retreat. Overnight accommodations are not provided.
COVID Safety Protocols for non-residential programs: details here.
Cancellation Policy for On-Land: Daylongs, Multiday Programs (1-3 days), Family Programs, CE fees:
- NO REFUNDS.
- Open Credit or Donation to Spirit Rock = cancel 2 or more business days prior to program (Pacific Time)
- No Open Credit = cancel less than 2 business days prior
About the Teachers
Cara Lai, MA
Cara Lai spent most of her life trying to figure out how to be happy—or at least avoid total misery—which ultimately led to her spending the majority of her adulthood meditating. She's explored the wild beauty of the human experience through many adventures in consciousness, including long retreats, chronic illness, and the profound experiences of […]
Learn more about Cara Lai, MA
Matthew Brensilver, PhD
Matthew Brensilver teaches at the Insight Retreat Center, Spirit Rock and Insight Meditation Society. He was previously program director for Mindful Schools and for more than a decade, was a core teacher at Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society. Matthew worked as a clinical social worker, serving severely and persistently mentally ill adults. He subsequently […]
Learn more about Matthew Brensilver, PhDCategories : Daylong, Event/Program, Hide End Date, Hybrid, On-land